Tuesday 4 March 2014

Positivity

Positivity is one of those words. We try to attain it, grasp it, live it and feel it. We put it into our life motto and pop it into our classic 'life advice' speeches that we say to our loved ones. We love it, but we can't help but hate it sometimes. 

Recently, I just haven't been happy. It is as simple as that. Many aspects of my life have overwhelmed me, making me feel anxious, upset, scared, lethargic, spiritually and creatively low, which I feel has made me physically sick. I have been depressed before, everyone has right? But this time, it has really taken it's toll on me for many weeks. 
I am one of those people who always encourage people with uplifting, positive messages. I have always believed that happiness is merely a light switch away, as really, it can't be that hard to feel? I have had my fair share of hard times in life, but I have always tried to look on the bright side of life. I would never allow myself to properly feel pain and anxiety because I have felt there is no point in being unhappy when there is so much to love about life. 

Well, recently I have not allowed myself to think in a positive way. I have allowed myself to be washed over by anxious thoughts and to be taken to the depths of the negative parts of my mind. I have often found myself lying on my bed feeling lazy and sad, unable to do productive things due to my mind telling me I couldn't. I have had no energy to do anything, which has made me feel hopeless and sad. I found I have developed limited patience for people or situations due to my newly found short temper. I have found myself walking around my house feeling empty and worthless. I have developed a dissatisfaction with life and an unwillingness to make things better for myself. I have been over thinking parts of my life which I wouldn't normally worry about and have created even more problems for myself. My relationships with people and my creator have been at a standstill due to my newly found negative nature. My
"recently used" emoticons on my iPhone have become sad, unhappy faces...as lame as that sounds. Basically, I have been in a negative rut, and it has been taking it's toll on me. 

The concept of positivity has been considered, but has just been loathed. How can I possibly put on a fake, positive facade to make myself feel better when there are so many things going on in my life? The term positivity just seems, or shall I say seemed unattainable. 

Thankfully, I no longer feel like this anymore. 

After scrolling through my beloved Instagram feed today, I came across a very simple quote that I used to love; Don't take life so seriously. A few minutes later, my lovely boyfriend sent another quote that I absolutely adore; 

"The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it"
-Jordan Belfort

Um, can someone say wow?! To be honest, my goal at this present moment is just to be happy. I really needed to see this quote to shake me out of my negative stupor. For too long, I have allowed myself to live in a negatively charged shell that was my life. I didn't allow myself to feel happy, and I didn't allow people to give me happiness. No matter how many compliments I received, I just didn't believe any because I didn't feel like I deserved them. My mind didn't allow me to be myself. In other words, I was trapped by my own thoughts.
 I have learnt that if you allow your unhappiness to get the best of you, you will succumb to it quite easily and things will become harder. To break free of it seems unbearable, but once you are out of that crushing rut, you definitely start to see things in perspective. 

Being unhappy makes you see the great power of your mind. It is a scary, powerful and all consuming aspect of your body that controls well, you, basically. If you feed your mind powerful and uplifting thoughts, your body will consume them and your whole outlook on life will change. I assure you, you will become more motivated, happy, patient and kind to yourself and those around you. In the past, I have had a few challenging situations where I felt like I didn't even know my mind, and quite frankly, I was afraid of it. As human beings, we are blessed with such a complex device in our bodies, therefore it is highly important that we take charge of it so that it does not take charge of us. 

The first thing I am going to do with my newfound happiness is create some order in my life. Along with juggling university and work commitments, I am going to make time for exercise. A factor that certainly contributed to my unhappiness was my lack of physical activity. I began to feel horrible about myself and I felt so sluggish and disgusting. I need to get those endorphins flowing! Having some order in my life will definitely allow me to organise my life to prevent myself from being unproductive. 

As for those ghastly situations that made me feel unhappy in the first place? Well, dealing with them with an unhappy mind will definitely make them worse. I am trying to find the confidence and perspective to deal with them. Obviously all my problems will not go away in a heart beat, but I can deal with them in a more healthy manner with a better outlook on life. 

It feels good to be back :) 




Tuesday 7 January 2014

Wanderlust

"A person susceptible to wanderlust is not so much addicted to movement as committed to transformation." -Pico Iyer

Man, oh man do I suffer from Wanderlust. The calls of the Eiffel Tower, the music on the streets of Barcelona, the stillness of the canals in Venice, and the magic and modernity that is New York echo so loudly within me. I have been itching to travel for years, constantly day dreaming about living in a loft in New York and walking the streets of Paris. Pinterest definitely hasn't helped in that department with it's constant stream of jaw dropping pictures from around the world.

Well, I don't have to keep dreaming anymore, as my dreams are to be transformed into a reality next year! Next year in my Uni holidays, I am heading out on a European adventure across Italy, France and Spain. Eee! We will be travelling to Rome, Venice, Milan, Nice, Cannes, Barcelona, and Paris just to name a few. I seriously cannot contain my excitement. I come from a family that never went overseas, only holidaying to places like Melbourne and Tasmania, so you can imagine my excitement. I will be jet setting around the world with one of my closest friends because honestly, what better way to experience life changing and eye opening events than to have one of your best friends by your side. 

Although a lot of saving needs to be done, I am very excited to prepare for my trip. I will be sure to take travel journals with me to write about my experiences, as well as blogging as much as I can online. In relation to the quote by Pico Iyer, I hope to transform into a more appreciative person about the world around us and to meet new and exciting people who will open my eyes to the world, as well as learning to be more independent. Europe 2015, I'm coming for you!





Saturday 4 January 2014

Goodbye 2013, Hello 2014

Wait, what? It's 2014? 
It's a new year? It certainly doesn't feel like it, and it certainly hasn't impacted me in any way. Usually when the crowd starts counting down the seconds to the new year, I get shivers down my spine and excitement builds as I stand on the brink of a year full of unexpected surprises and events. This year has just felt like any other day.

I guess it's because 2013 was such a good year for me. With 2012 being a bittersweet year, 2013 brought so many blessings; my best friend became my boyfriend, I started working, I started University, I became more involved in my church and became a youth leader, I met a truckload of amazing and life changing people who I value so much, and my faith has gotten so much stronger and mature. 2013 was a year of blessings, and I was very happy in it.

I am definitely not one of those people who say that every year is a shocking year, and beg that the new year will be amazing. I am a firm believer that in order for amazing and life changing things to happen, you have to put yourself out there. You have to step out of your comfort zone once in a while to challenge yourself and to be willing to be scared and uncomfortable in some situations. As Benjamin Mee says, "You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery, and I promise you, something great will come out of it."

How true is that?! To be honest, I am quite the scaredy cat. I get worried over stupid things and I am the person who will tell you to swim between the flags. I have never been an insanely brave person. But towards the end of 2013 , I realised that I am more capable of doing things than I thought. I realised that I could teach and lead high school kids to become better followers of Christ, I realised I could stand up in front of my class and do my oral presentation, I realised that I can make friends easily if I just try, I realised that I could trust people whole heartedly again, and I realised that I am way too hard and critical of myself than I would have liked. 

Wow, okay, so in saying that maybe I am excited for this year. Every year brings its fair share of highs and lows, but in hindsight, the lows are what brings the true blessings right? That's where you learn, grow and mature. I am excited to be more involved in my church and to make Thirst Youth a thriving, exciting and encouraging youth community.This year at church, I won't have my family with me to comfort or look after me. I will be forced to stand on my own two feet and to be a strong woman of God with the sole purpose of praising God. I also look forward to University this year (even though these holidays are oh so good!) and I also look forward to making stronger friendships. One thing I have noticed is that I have been lazy with keeping up with people, so that definitely has to change. 

So, let's lay my New Years resolutions on the table.
  • I want to put as much time and energy as I can to make Thirst Youth a more exciting, encouraging and bigger youth group. I want to be the best leader I can possibly be, and to be a good role model for the girls.
  • I want to keep growing and concentrating on my faith in God, so that I can be the best servant of God as I can be. 
  • I want to continue to put myself out there and to not be afraid of new experiences.
  • I want to be the best possible daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend etc for other people. I want to spend as much time as I can with people who I love. I don't want to be a lazy friend.
  • Lastly, I want to be fit and 100% comfortable with my body.
What are your new year resolutions?

I hope that 2014 brings you all many blessings of different kinds, and that you will look back on the year with no regrets. Happy new year! Let's do this.